Halloween Memories

I remember one Halloween where I dressed up as a murder victim. A swarthy stocking cap wearing murder victim. I'm not sure why I wanted a beard and a stocking cap but I apparently did. Anyway, my mom helped me make it so that the handle of a plastic knife was sticking out of my chest and the rest of the knife came out of my back. There was blood everywhere. It was awesome. I was so proud of that costume and couldn't wait to get out on the streets to wow the neighbors with my gory goodness. What a charming childhood memory, right? Well...

Does any one out there have a younger sibling that is preternaturally cute? Yeah, me too and I had to take her with me trick or treating. So here's how it went:

Neighbor Lady: "Well, hello! What have we got here?"

Maia & Liv: "Trick or treat!"

Neighbor Lady: "

What an adorable mouse! Oh, and a hobo."

Liv: " Thank you."

Maia: "I'm not a hobo. I've been stabbed."

Neighbor Lady: "Honey, come to the door! You have to see this mouse!"

Neighbor Lady's Husband: "Well, ha ha! Isn't that something! I bet you'd rather have cheese instead of candy!"

Liv: (laughs. cutely

, of course)

Neighbor Lady: "Don't let the hobo steal your candy!"

Maia: "I'm not a...thank you for the candy."

Sigh.

Also, I'd like to make a few comments about adult costumes. First, pimp and ho costumes are played out

. Next, why is it that as far as I can tell the only pre-made adult costume for women that is not a whore costume with devil/angel/maid/doctor accessories is the cow costume. You know the one I'm talking about it. How do those design meetings go?

Designer 1: "How about a firefighter costume for women?"

Designer 2:

"Great idea, Designer 1! How should it look?"

Designer 1: "I'm thinking a form-fitting, low cut fire coat, a short skirt, some fishnets - red - and um, ... some high heel rubber boots."

Designer 2: "Dude, I think you nailed it. That totally sounds like a firefighter"

Designer 1: "Yeah, chicks are gonna love it."

Designer 2: "What about the fat chicks?"

Designer 1: "I dunno, I guess we could make a cow costume."

That's all for now. At ease.