Por Favor

I spent some time on the treadmill today trying to counteract some of the bad choices I've made over this very delicious Thanksgiving weekend.  While doing so I noticed a sharp pain in my right big toe.  It seems that I might be developing a bunion.  Yes, a bunion.  What.  The.  Hell.

I need a favor from anyone reading this.  If at any time I start to refer to my pants as slacks or my couch as a davenport I freely give any and all of you permission to stage an intervention.  Please.