Friday, October 30, 2009

Northwest Nap

Over the course of this day I have thought about several things upon which I could pontificate in this blog. Now that I'm home and have a few minutes to write, I can't remember a damned thing. So, for inspiration, I went to and picked one of the newest words added. A Northwest Nap is a sleep deep enough where you aren't disturbed by irritations like the phone, your kids, the doorbell, air traffic control, the Air Force, stuff like that.

OK, I've been flying on planes since I was a wee slip of a thing. I had no fear of flying
until I was studying overseas in college and flew several times on domestic Chinese airlines. Why would this instill a fear of flying? Imagine a church bus. You know, the kind that has wheels that kind of wobble and trails a sickly cloud of greasy smoke? The kind that has been used to the point of exhaustion by the school systems before being sold at auction to Our Lady of Perpetual Incontinence? Well, slap some wings on it and pipe some jangly Chinese music through the speakers and you have yourself an example of Air China's planes. I actually saw smoke coming off the wing on one of our flights. I swear. No one else cared! I felt like William Shatner (and later John Lithgow) in the Twilight Zone. When I got home from Asia I joined the ranks of those who need to get completely blistered in order to fly. Eventually I got smart and asked by doctor for some chill pills instead of getting bombed every time I walk into an airport.

My point? Of all the horrible images that my brain will throw up
onto my interior movie screen AT NO POINT did I imagine that BOTH pilots are asleep or drunk or having sex or wha
tever the hell was going on with that Northwest flight. What the hell? That shit would not ha
ve happened before 9/11 and the advent of those bank vault style cockpit doors. Remember when you could see the pilots? You know what? The terrorists have won. Assholes.

No comments:

Post a Comment