Anyway, I'm here to tell you about last night. Calm down, it's not that kind of story. When at home I drink Caffiene Free Diet Pepsi. I know, what's the point if there's no caffeine or sugar? I agree but I drink both sugar and caffeine out in the real world so while at home I try to curtail it a bit.
Anyway, the grocery store ran out of my usual soda the other day so I was looking at the other Diet Pepsi options. There's Diet Pepsi (obviously), Pepsi Max, and Pepsi One in addition to the Coke famliy of diet colas. From what I can tell Pepsi One is the same as Diet Pepsi except they use Splenda as the sweetener instead of whatver they use in DP (aspartame?). I figured Pepsi Max was the same thing with yet a third type of sweetener so I chose that one.
After drinking two of them and then going to bed I realize just how off the mark I was. As I'm lying in bed I realize that I am wired for sound. I think I might even have levitated. I definitely saw sparks.
Holy crap, people, did you know that Pepsi Max is basically Diet Jolt? Shit fire and save matches, how did I not realize this? It's called Pepsi MAX, for crap's sake. It's extreme! (Remember when everything was extreme? Now everything is green.) There is twice as much caffeine as other colas. Recall I drank two of them after 8 pm.
I do not know when I finally fell asleep but I can tell you that when the alarm went off at 5:13 a.m. it was rough.
I'll leave you with a video of Wanda Sykes doing a bit about falling asleep that would be funnier if it wasn't so terrifyingly true.
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| Wanda Sykes - Additional Thoughts | ||||
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Wanda is often the voice of (hard) truth: http://comedians.jokes.com/wanda-sykes/videos/wanda-sykes---sex
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