Sunday, March 21, 2010

I Wish I Had Thought Of That!

Here's a story.  Of a lovely lady.  (Me)

OK, stop laughing.

ANYWAY, this happened to me last week.  As you may or may not know, I've been studying martial arts for the last 5 or so years.  Recently I came to the very difficult decision to take a sabbatical from tae kwon do in order to spend more time at the gym.  My knees have been really hurting lately and it would take a few days to recover from TKD class which would happen just in time for another TKD class.  In between I would be too sore to do any other exercise.  This did not amount to enough activity so I was getting steadily less...visibly fit...which only exacerbated the knee issues even more.  So, I decided to take a break and go to the gym at least 4 times a week (one day with a personal trainer, even).  I saw someone I knew from TKD last week and was asked why I'm not in class anymore.  I gave the quick knees-recovery-sabbatical explanation and was given the following advice:

"You should lose weight, then."

I'll give you a moment to process that.

I know, right?  Who says that?  Several responses flitted across my brain before I answered.  They were:

"Huh.  That never occurred to me!  Wow!  Thanks for the advice!  Before I go, will you help me tie my shoe?  I forgot how.  Also, please explain to me how to open this door.  Do I push the knob thingy?  Turn it?  Do speak a password into it?  Dang, things are so confusing!"


"You know you said that out loud, right?"


"Considering I almost certainly outweigh you and I have a black belt in tae kwon do, would you like to amend this conversation in any way?"

But I went with:

"Uh, yeah, that's the plan."

Tuesday, March 2, 2010

I'm Baaaaack!

So, yeah.  I'm sorry that it's been quite a while since I've posted.  I've been teaching an over-overload this semester and it's been insane in the membrane.  In the grand scheme of things, I can't really complain since no matter how crazy my schedule is it only ever lasts for three months before I get a minimum of a month off.  Here's a hodge podge of stuff for you:

1.  I am now down to one pair of pants that fit me.  Stress and the fact that I like to do most of my grading in restaurants have really taken a toll on the old waistline (and buttline, and pretty much all my lines).  Why am I sharing this with you?  I had originally vowed to not purchase more pants seeing as how I have many, many pairs of pants that are only 10 pounds away but after a marathon session of grading at Panera (see?) I decided to go see what I could find at Target.  I headed over to the women's clothes and wandered around trying to find something that seemed to be made of natural fibers and didn't have some dipshitty sparkly butterfly pattern glued to the pockets.  Right before I decided to abandon hope and go throw myself at a pizza, I found a pair of khaki pants that looked workable.  Not low-rise?  Check.  Made from cotton?  Check.  Waistband that won't dig in when I sit down?  Check.  Inexpensive?  Check.  Thank goodness!  I grabbed them off the rack and started to head to the checkout lanes.  Right before I got there something on the tag caught my eye.  I looked closer, turned around and put them back where I found them, and speed walked out of the store.

They were maternity pants.  As the kids say, FML.

2.  Remember when I told you I got my feet tangled up in my pants, fell down, and messed up my toe?  It's still messed up!  A toe is not a complicated body part.  What the hell could still be wrong with it?  Frankly, if this keeps up I might have to let it go. Times are tough and if it's not going to hold up its end of the bargain I'll find another toe.

3.  Thank goodness for iPods at the gym.  I've been doing a lot of interval stuff on the elliptical lately and I suspect that I probably sound like an obscene phone caller at times.

4.  Last Tuesday I had the house to myself for the evening.  This is what I did:
     3:00 I arrived home from work
     3:15 I headed to the grocery store
     5:00 I made tacos for dinner (the totally inauthetic orange powder in the beef kind)
     5:30 - 7:00 I watched some TV
     7:15 I went to bed

     I'm so wild and crazy that I go beyond wild and crazy and end up wrapping around into completely boring.

Thanks for reading, all.  Have a good night.