Monday, December 28, 2009

How The Mai-ty Have Fallen

I hope everyone had a nice holiday (or just a nice last week of December if that's what it was to you).  Mine has been, until about 30 minutes ago, full of personal triumph.  Let me start with the ways in which I have been kicking ass lately:

1.  I went to Maine for Christmas with Jenn Hupp (hereafter to be referred to as Huppy because, really, how can you not?) to hang out with her brother's family.  In an unusual plot twist,  I did not get a cold while I was there nor have a I gotten sick since I returned.  My joy is tempered by the fact that Huppy got sick instead.  Still, woot!

2.  I actually spent all day today working on lesson plans and syllabi for my Spring 2010 classes.  I know, right?  This sudden ability to focus prior to the last minute comes from the fact that I have agreed to teach six classes in the spring (full time is 3 or 4 classes).

3.  For years I have made something called peanut butter popcorn (an awesome treat I learned from my Grandma Kelley).  It tastes so good but I tend to make a mess when I make it.  Today, however, the fog parted and I had the epiphany that I could do everything I needed to do in the microwave eliminating a  lot of the mess.  Yes, I am 38 and it is late 2009 and I just frickin' figured out how useful my microwave can be.

These things have made me feel like I'm doing all right, navigating through the world, kicking ass, taking names.

Then a little while ago I stood up from the couch to go check out a cat-related noise and I somehow managed to get my right foot tangled up inside my left pajama pant leg while in mid-stride.  This had the effect of hogtying my feet together and I pitched forward sprawling on the floor missing a doorway by inches.  I mean seriously, I've been doing so well and suddenly I can't trust myself to walk and wear pants at the same time?  For frick's sake!

Huppy witnessed this incident in its entirety and once I was vertical again we had this conversation:

Huppy:  "You weren't actually that close to hitting the doorframe.  You did some traveling while you were writhing around."
Me:  "Oh, that's good.  I mean, it would have been fine either way.  I would have used my catlike reflexes to keep from getting brained."
Huppy:  "Really.  And where were those catlike reflexes when you were trying to walk across the room?"
Me:  "Uh..."

Tomorrow my goals are to do more lesson plans, wear my clothes right-side out, and to not fall down.  And no fires!

Update:  It's now been 24 hours and one of my toes is purple.  Again, how is it that I can't successfully walk and wear pants at the same time.  I've had a TON of practice!

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